It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch
a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway
into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.
-Mary Oliver
I've been mulling on this thought for a few months now, ever since a colleague of mine said it in rehearsal. It came in the context of the students having to do multiple things at once....sing accurate pitches and rhythms, adhere to expression markings, blend with their section, be mindful of their breath, tell the story, etc., etc., etc. Making music in ensemble is an extreme form of multi-tasking.
Artists don't compartmentalize.
As he spoke these words, I felt my eyes well with tears. Yes, he was speaking about that particular moment in rehearsal; he was acknowledging the seeming-impossibility of his request for them to do all these things at once. But, as usual, there was a deeper meaning behind his words.
When I walk on the stage, as much as I would love to leave behind the fears, anxieties, burdens, hurts, stresses of my day, week, month, year, lifetime, the truth is, they follow me on. So when I am feeling tense, my playing is tense. When I am feeling anxious, my playing is anxious. When I am feeling broken, my playing is broken.
But I have long held the belief that audiences don't want perfection. What moves us most is not a masterfully-sculpted phrase or a perfectly-tuned chord. What moves us most is Truth. Honesty. Humanity. And yes, if the phrase is bumpy or the chord is out of tune, we might be a bit distracted from the truth. But also, I think we forgive the musical shortcomings if the expression is honest.
Artists don't compartmentalize.
And I don't think humans should either.
I love these words of Mary Oliver. They serve as a reminder to me that I don't need to assume a specific posture to touch the Divine. There aren't magic words to be said.
The invitation is to come as we are.
Weeds, irises, stones, anxiety, brokenness, humanity....it's all welcome.
The promise is that He will inhabit it all. Emmanuel. God with us.
